


More Than

by OrionRedde, Shyrstyne



Series: Cometverse [77]
Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Multi, Nonbinary Xion, Pansexual Character, aroace character, background namine/xion/repliku, casual discussion of past murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:27:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26658166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrionRedde/pseuds/OrionRedde, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shyrstyne/pseuds/Shyrstyne
Summary: Vanitas learns what happened to Xehanort when Sora defeated him all those years ago.
Series: Cometverse [77]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1285373
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	More Than

**Author's Note:**

> i might have straight up forgotten this fic existed for a while. i'm very sorry. in my defence i was busy having an extended shitty mental health extravaganza. im in therapy now so. i *will* finish uploading these old chapters i swear

Vanitas likes these forgotten, out of the way worlds.

Even after the horrible incident that nearly cost his life and gained Aqua’s non-eneminity, he still likes going out into the unknown and finding the things no one else could find. It’s peaceful in a way he can’t find in the presence of constructed buildings and people.

This time is a little different, however.

He lifts a finger to his lips to indicate silence, though he knows out of all the heart siblings Naminé is the least likely to make undue noise. She nods and creeps a little closer, crouching on hands and knees in mimicry of his own pose as she approaches. He slowly, carefully lifts a rock, revealing the nest of tiny creatures beneath.

Naminé doesn’t audibly coo, but he can hear the small intake of breath and knows she wants to. The creatures are small and fluffy and with enormous black eyes in a combination that he knows Naminé would love. She reaches out a hand just barely before looking up at him in question. He gestures for her to wait as he sets the rock just off to the side before reaching in and plucking one from the pile, careful not to disturb the rest.

The one in his hand barely stirs. He’s done this before.

He holds his hand out and has her mimic his hold as he transfers the baby animal to her. Her eyes light up in delight, visibly delighting in holding the tiny thing.

He feels a smile creep onto his own face at the sight. They haven’t really had the chance to talk lately, and he’s glad they… well they aren’t exactly talking right _now_ , but for Vanitas this was every bit as good as, if not better.

Eventually the creature starts to get fidgety and Vanitas coaches her silently on how to return it to the nest. He places the rock carefully back on top, and the two creep away until Vanitas stands and stretches, determining they’re far enough now to not disturb them.

“Thank you, Vanitas.” Naminé says with a wide smile. “I loved them.”

“Sure.” He nods with a smile in return, though somewhat self consciously. “I found them a few months ago and thought you might like them. Just haven’t had the chance to show you till now.”

“We did get wrapped up in everything for a while.” Naminé agrees. “It happens. We’re here now.”

“Right.” He nods. “Come on, there’s this place a little farther down- you’ll see.” He tugs her along and she follows without resistance.

“How have you been?” She asks as they walk. 

“What, Xion doesn’t talk about me?”

“Of course they do, but I want to hear it from you too.”

“I’m.. fine.” He shrugs. “Pops has finally stopped shifting at random, so I’m not up all the time coaching him through it because he doesn’t want to wake anyone up.”

“Are you not sleeping well again?” She asks, like always sensing the hidden implication before anything else in what he’d said.

“Just the usual rounds of nightmares, nothing I can’t handle.” He sees no point in lying to her. “They’ve been getting better, but sometimes I still have to get up and make sure everyone is where they should be, you know?”

He glances back at her just in time to see her nod.

“I do.”

“Anyway, how’s dating life?”

“What, Xion doesn’t talk about me?” She teases. He huffs a laugh.

“Trust me, they hardly shut up about you, but I want to hear it from you.” He returns. She laughs.

“It’s wonderful. Between Xion and Haru, I hardly know what I’m doing, but I can’t say I haven’t been enjoying myself. When it was just me and Haru it was.. Quiet. Now that Xion is part of it, they seem to have made it a game to see who can fluster me most.”

He chuckles, and then pulls up short as they approach a cliff. He settles on the edge, feet dangling over the abyss and gestures for her to sit next to him, which she does.

“It’ll be a few minutes, but trust me the view will be worth it.”

“Okay.” She nods, fingers twined gently together in her lap.

They sit for a while, just enjoying the quiet presence of the other. Neither feel the need to interrupt it, comfortable without compulsive chatter.

Vanitas looks out over the wide canyon, almost stretching across the curve of this tiny little world, leaning back against his palms. His ribs itch, as they sometimes do on small, dark worlds like this one, but he ignores it like he ignores any of his other scars aching during sudden changes in weather. He knows Comet has a potion or something they use when their scars get particularly annoying, but he’s always been too stubborn to use it himself. It will pass, like it always does.

“Can I admit something to you?” Naminé asks quietly, and he sits up a little, not answering verbally but assent given in his attention. “Sometimes.. All the time, really, I don’t understand why they claim to love me.”

“Xion and Haru?” He guesses. She could very well have been talking about Kaze, or Sora, but given what they had been talking about earlier, he could guess.

She nods.

“I hurt them both so badly, and I know it was a long time ago now, but I don’t know if I’ll ever feel like I’ve made it up to them.. Let alone made myself worthy of their love.”

“It’s not about worth.” He counters, remembering an old conversation. “Love is something that happens. It’s about what you do with it.”

“And I know that, but… It doesn’t _feel_ that way.” She says, casting her gaze beneath her feet and towards the rocky cliffside below. He smiles in a way entirely self loathing.

“Yeah. Yeah I know.” He looks over at her. “It gets better.”

“Does it? I feel like I’m still stuck where I started.”

He shakes his head.

“Nah.” He pauses. “I didn’t.. know you back then, and all I know about the castle is what you’ve told me, but even I can tell how far you’ve come.”

She bites her lip, still unconvinced. He tips his head back in an unconscious mimicry of Lea when he needs to think.

“You think you’re backsliding, but you’re not. Sometimes healing means it hurts a little worse for a while.” And wasn’t that a lesson he’d learned, over and over again.

“Why is it taking so long then? What you, Haru, Sora.. so many of us, went through was so much worse-”

“Stop.” He says, perhaps more harshly then he wanted, regretting seeing her flinch. “It’s not a race, Nami.”

She looks up at the rarely used nickname from him. He sees the hints of wetness in her eyes and grinds down the coiling anger; not at her, but at those who’d done this to her.

“We were both hurt. It’s not a contest of who got hurt more. I don’t get to judge you for how you heal any more than you get to judge me.”

She leans forward abruptly, pressing her face into his shoulder. Neither of them were particularly big on touching (or hadn’t been until their unfortunate transformations), but he rests a hand on top of her hair and it seems to be enough for both.

A few long moments later and Naminé takes a deep breath, sitting back upright. He doesn’t comment on the wet patch on his shoulder and she says nothing about the anger making his limbs tremble.

“Thank you.” She whispers.

“Sure.” He answers. “You talked to Xion or Haru about this?” He asks at length. She laughs, though it’s more a quiet chuckle than a true laugh.

“Would you tell Comet you felt unworthy of their love?”

“I did.” He says bluntly. “They made sure I knew I was wrong. That I _was_ worthy.”

She blinks at him.

“Well.” He shrugs. “It was new. Still hadn’t really grasped I was capable of it.”

“Loving, or being loved?”

“Both.”

“It’s hard.”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know if being _in_ love is harder or just different.” Naminé says frankly. Vanitas shrugs.

“Can’t help you with that one.”

She looks over at him, curious.

“Do you think you’ll ever…?” The question hangs in the air, but not awkwardly. Vanitas is casual in his answer.

“Not likely, I think the whole lot of you are crazy on both levels.”

“Well, I won’t argue with that.” She replies with a laugh, which he returns. “For me it was so simple, I knew what and who I liked and I didn’t see any reason to complicate it, but I’ve learned it’s much harder for most people. Was it for you?”

“I didn’t really think about it.” Vanitas admits, idly kicking his heels against the rock wall below him. “I guess Isa noticed me making faces every time Comet and Lea got up to sex or something and sat me down. Basically did everything but give me a pamphlet on ‘What To Expect When You’re Probably Aro-Ace.’”

“Oh dear.”

“Yeah it was awkward as hell, but he took me out for chocolate shrimp after so.” He grins as she makes her own disgusted face at the combination.

A sudden burst of light distracts both of them as the rocks below suddenly come alive with movement and light. It swirls upwards as if moved by some unseen wind, drifting across the canyon in a wide swath. Brilliant greens and blues cross the space and crawl up the walls of the cliffs, and though Naminé twitches uncertainly as it nears them, the glow curls around them gracefully, close but not touching.

“Oh!” She gasps softly. “Like fireflies!” She reaches out a hand, letting the brightly glowing insects swirl past it, barely acknowledging its existence beyond a barrier in their unseen path.

“Yeah. I’ve never seen colours like these anywhere else.”

“It reminds me a little of Master Aqua’s magic.” She says, hand still held out amongst the swirling colours, shifting blues and greens dancing across her pale skin. 

Vanitas doesn’t, even now, have very good associations with Aqua’s magic. Despite how far they’ve come, there are some memories that seem almost hard wired. He tries not to let the frown show on his face as the lights suddenly take on a different tone to him. 

The swarm around them thins as the bugs move on, dancing up into the sky and then filtering slowly back down towards the floor of the canyon, a riot of colour. 

“She’s been teaching me a little.” Naminé continues, seemingly oblivious to Vanitas’ shift in mood. “I asked her, in hopes it might help me understand my own magic better. It’s very different, and I’m not very good, but I could show you some of what I learned, if you want.”

Vanitas looks up at her, and wonders when she’d stood. 

The offer stands between them. Maybe she _had_ noticed. 

“Sure, a little.” He acquiesces. She smiles, and it’s almost enough to quell the nerves stirring under his skin. 

The fireflies still swirl in the bowl of the valley, slow and lazy now, but the two turn away, walking from the cliff edge toward a more open area. Naminé stand in the center of their arbitrarily designated area, and Vanitas takes a seat on a nearby rock. 

“Okay.” Naminé breathes deeply, and raises one hand. “Blizzard!”

A spine of ice flows out, sliding across the ground like a snake. It goes a short distance before petering out, but she looks delighted. 

“That’s the farthest I’ve made it go!” She claps her hands, a show of physical delight she doesn’t usually indulge in, so he knows just how proud she is. 

“How are you supposed to hit anything with it though?” He asks, and though the question seems brusque, Naminé takes it with the genuine curiosity it was intended. 

“You don’t, it’s a rail. You ride it. Aqua says this is more advanced magic, but I can’t do the simple kinds like just throwing fire and water at things, so I work on this instead.”

He doesn’t ask if she can’t because she doesn’t want to, or if she just physically can’t. It doesn’t particularly matter to him either way. 

“Cool.” He hops off the rock and walks over, testing the short rail with one foot before riding its length in one smooth motion. He hops off the end with a flourish, and finds Naminé smiling widely from the other end at the display. 

“It’s really solid, good work.” He says, and if anything her smile grows wider. 

“Thank you.” She tucks some hair behind her ear. “I’ve been practicing with Xion, and they’ve been a huge help. They may be a keyblade wielder by trade, but sometimes I think they could rival Aqua for magic if they tried.”

“Joys of being a mimic.” He snorts, well aware he was one of only a few who got to tease that way, even without them present. “Did they-“

He cuts himself off as he spots something moving in the shadows between the rocks. His eyes track it, wary, certain he saw something long after the movement had ceased. 

“Vanitas? Is something wrong?” Naminé asks, concerned. 

“You see that?” He points. “Something moved. In the shadows there.”

She peers into the dark, and after a long moment shakes her head. 

“No.”

He stares out for another long moment before giving himself a shake. Likely whatever it was was gone now. 

_Eyes bright hands red hearts dark they were once key-_

“Cmon, let’s go. Haru and Xion would kill me if I let anything happen to you.”

“They worry for you too.”

“Sure, but-“ he cuts himself off, belatedly realizing there was no way to end that sentence gracefully. She chuckles. 

“It’s okay. I know I’m not very useful in a fight. I guess that’s also part of why I asked Aqua for magic lessons. I know I’ll never be as good as the rest of you, and honestly I don’t want to, but I’d like to be not completely helpless.”

“I’m kind of surprised you didn’t ask Sora. He might not have the same stopping power she does, but he’s just as versatile.”

She hums, hands clasped behind her back as she walks. 

“I’m not sure. Maybe _because_ I’m not connected to her like I am Sora. Or maybe because I was worried Sora would be too soft trying to teach me. I wanted someone to help me push my boundaries, and who better than the woman who killed Master Xehanort?”

Vanitas stops cold, and Naminé makes only a few more steps before turning back to him in confusion. He looks at her with wide, surprised eyes.

“Aqua.. is the one who killed Xehanort?”

-

It’s late, and by all rights Xion should be asleep like everyone else in the house, but they feel the pull and itch of powers under their skin tonight and so instead they sit on a pillow in a shaft of moonlight practicing their control. 

Their phone blips quietly in the silence, a small wind chime noise indicating a message from Naminé. They pick up the phone and open it with curiosity, knowing she’d been spending the day with Vanitas and wondering what it could be about. 

_‘talk with Van when he gets home. Love you <3’_

Ominous. The little heart makes Xion’s do flip flops of glee though.

Not ten minutes later they hear the familiar tumble-squeak as Vanitas warps in and stumbles out of the bathtub upstairs. They giggle quietly to themself as they listen to him curse, barely audible in the quiet. They make their way upstairs and wait only a moment before knocking. 

There’s only a brief pause as the cursing stutters to a halt, and then the door opens. 

“You okay?” They ask. He huffs. 

“Fine. Just a puddle.” He grumbles. There’s a wet spot on his thigh to prove it, and Xion can’t help but chuckle. 

“Naminé sent me a text saying I should talk to you.” They get right to the point. It’s late, and neither of them are particularly awake anymore. 

“Right, you were there weren’t you.” Vanitas says. “Did Aqua really kill Master Xehanort? I thought Sora defeated him.”

“He did, but you know Sora. Forgiving to a fault. Xehanort.. took advantage of that. Aqua stopped him, and then made sure he could never do it again.” They speak frankly, and it says much of both their histories that neither seem particularly bothered by the blunt discussion of a mans murder, even one so reprehensible as the Master.

“Okay.” He nods, but mind clearly elsewhere. “Thanks.”

“Sure.”

And that was that. Xion spends an hour or two meditating, and Vanitas patrols the perimeter like it’s his job. A normal night really.

Xion wonders what he’s thinking.

-

Over the course of the next few weeks, Xion finds Vanitas in his favorite chair in the den more often than not, working hard on some crochet project. They watch curiously, not interrupting his single minded focus except for occasional reminders to eat and sleep (the latter of which they’re pretty sure are handily ignored). Once Roxas tries to ask what Vanitas is making, but has the unfortunate timing of doing it on some complicated motion and the fabric suddenly becomes a tangled mess. 

Roxas flees before Vanitas can collect himself, and Xion continues to watch as he slowly unfurls the mess with muttered curses and starts again. 

Lea seems to recognize the hyperfocus for what it is and leaves him to it for the most part, bringing him meals and setting them on the little table next to him. Comet usually checks in an hour or so later to make sure he’s eaten it, and if he hasn’t, pestering him until he does. He’s paranoid about getting food on his project though, tucking it away carefully when he is finally pulled away to eat. 

Isa has the most success in getting him to sleep, especially as the full moon draws near and his migraines start up again, using their shared insomnia to wheedle him into getting some rest. 

This becomes the new status quo for a while, barring one incident where Ventus came to visit and causing Vanitas to hide his project in a panic. 

“Is Aqua with you?” Is out of his mouth before even a greeting. 

“No? What is that? What are you making?” Ventus peers over Vanitas at the fabric stuffed hurriedly beside him. Vanitas carefully extricates it. 

“Nothing. Just a thing. I’m almost done.”

Ven is smart enough to put two and two together. 

“Good, cause we’ve hardly seen you. Kairi wondered if you’d died on us.” He says. Vanitas snorts. 

“Please, like you wouldn’t know.”

-

Xion comes home from Naminé’s that afternoon to find them in the kitchen. 

“She likes raisins.”

“Who in their right mind likes raisin cookies?”

“Lots of people! …. Yeah okay I don’t get it either. But that’s her favourite. Oatmeal raisin. Oh and cinnamon! Is there a kind with cinnamon?”

“You spend all that time with Terra and his baking and you don’t know if there’s cinnamon raisin cookies?”

“I’m not actually cooking them!” Ven protests. “It’s just nice spending time with him.”

“Are you making cookies?” Xion asks, poking their head through the doorway. Ventus nods with a wide smile. 

“Yeah! And then we get to eat the extras.”

“Maybe _I_ do. I’m the one celebrating finishing my project here.” Vanitas smirks, pulling bowls from cabinets. Ven pouts. 

“Aw c’mon Van.”

Xion laughs, stepping inside to see if they can help (and maybe steal some cookie dough while they’re at it). 

-

Vanitas’ heart is in his throat. 

“So, what’s up? It’s not often it’s just us two.” Aqua smiles in a way she probably thinks is disarming. She’s right though, while he does spend a fair amount of time with Ventus, and by extension her and Terra, it isn’t often it’s _just_ him and Aqua. The first thing he does is set the tin of cookies on the table between them.

She opens the tin and picks one up, eyes lighting up when she sees they’re her favourite. She takes a bite and sighs in delight at the taste.

“These are wonderful.” She says after she swallows. “What’s the occasion?”

“I wanted to thank you.” He answers, and she quirks her head in confusion.

“For what?”

“You killed Master Xehanort.” He pulls a box onto his lap, fidgeting with the corners anxiously.

Her face darkens just slightly at the mention of the old master.

“That was years ago.”

“But you did.”

“I did.”

Vanitas takes a deep breath.

“I didn’t know that until a couple weeks ago. I wanted.. I want to thank you. For that.”

Her frown grows.

“Vanitas, I killed someone in cold blood. No matter how bad he was, I don’t think I deserve to be thanked for that.”

“I do.” He says, and then hands her the box. “Everything I’ve ever done, everything that’s ever been wrong with me.. Has been directly linked to him. If I couldn’t do it myself… I’m glad someone did. So thank you.”

He gets up and starts to walk away, stopping only when Aqua calls out to him, but not turning around.

“Vanitas.” Her voice is soft but compelling. “We’ve all made mistakes. You’re more than he made you to be.”

He turns back, just enough that she can see his smile.

“Yeah. I am.”

And then he leaves.

Aqua opens the box, and takes a soft gasp at what she sees inside.

-

The next time he sees her, she’s meeting Comet for spa day, and she has a dark blue shawl draped over her shoulders, nearly long enough to be a cape, little white stars and snowflakes swirling across it beautifully. She smiles at him as they leave.

Xion laughs at him as he sinks deeper in his chair, equal parts embarrassed and pleased.

**Author's Note:**

> so uhhhhhh the end of kh3 went a little differently in cometverse. just a touch. yes we very deliberately did not mention this bc tbh? most of the cast doesnt like thinking about it, let alone talking about it and aqua was pretty messed up by it for a while even if she doesn't particularly regret it. most people in the know kept quiet out of deference to her. it's legitimately a good thing vanitas is only thanking her *now* rather than any earlier.
> 
> we're also getting into weird time-skippy territory for this and the next couple parts, where i'm not tooootally solid on exactly when they take place, other than being several years post-games at this point. this is largely the era where they just kinda... lived life for a bit.


End file.
